Thursday, March 4, 2010

if at first you don't succeed; try, try again

I have lived on this earth for almost twenty years now. If I had to give one piece of advice to anyone and everyone it would be "if at first you don't succeed; try, try again". The greatest things in my life have happened to me because I have risked and risked most times after a failure. 
I was the most shy girl in the 7th grade, close to what I call depressed, but I thought I might have a sense of humor. In the 8th grade...I started making jokes to my classmates and I made so many more friends and never looked back.
I tried out for the choir in 9th grade...I didn't make it. I tried again the next year. I had the lead roles for the rest of high school. 
The success is so much greater of a feeling when the risk is highest. 
WARNING: I tried out for swim team, varsity softball and tennis again after I hadn't made it the first time and uh...still didn't quite make it. After a while though, learn how to take a hint.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

karmas a..live

Lets just say...I attract the crazies. The middle aged women who sit on planes whispering to themselves and asking you every five seconds if you smelled burning rubber (true story), the 20 year old guy who is only in a wheelchair to be able to tell girls "they have a nice ass" in a target and get away with it (recent true story) and those who go on and on you to you at all the wrong times about how they believe in positive energy and palm reading. Well Miss Cleo...maybe you're right.
I sit here thinking about Karma. True or false?
I hate to take the spirituality out of the idea because that's one of the things I think makes karma such a beautiful idea...but logically, karma works too.
When a stranger does a random act of kindness for you...doesn't your mood spike? When a stranger compliments your shoes...aren't you looking for the next person to give an honest compliment to? Rather when someone gives you a nasty look, an unnecessary criticism or takes their anger out on you...doesn't it make you a little more sour. 
So in conclusion, as the world spins and the humans interact...their attitudes and behaviors do indeed bring something back to them they gave a long time ago. 

p.s. this idea is what inspired the theme of this blog (Sendak's "The Giving Tree" and Michelangelo's "Creation of Adam")

No means whoa.

I had a finite math teacher in high school. I ran into a certain situation a few times that truly perplexed me. Not to be crude, but no matter what situation (never during a quiz or test) if I asked to use the restroom...I would get a no. Now, to me, this is the equivalent of refusing someone to blink, to sneeze, I may even go as far to include breathing. 
These are all inevitable things a human must do on a day to day basis.
Hey, Mr. Neal. Please don't eat today.  

Do parents lie about more than Santa?



Since I've been through high school and almost two years of college...I wonder, how much do we really know about our parents?
The number of times a few friends and I have sat around on a "morning after" trading stories and the phrase "well never telling the kids about that one" is countless. So wait...did my parents do that too?
It brings me back to a few clues that I can recall but have tried to block out of my memory: a)my dad's high school yearbook comments b)one "suggestive" letter from dad jr. to mom jr. c) and last but not least....myself.
I know times were different but will they be so much more "risque" in the future when I have children?...God, I hope not.
Think. 
Think back to a time where you saw an ad and almost jumped out of your chair to go buy the product. Now remember a few ads like that.
Is there a common theme?
To answer my own question...oh yeh. 

MUSIC.

Whether its to calm you down, turn you on, pump you up, wake you up, up the volume or put you to sleep...music most certainly brings about emotion.

How powerful is that to be able to include in your advertisement?

I was 16. I was sitting in my chair in my living room. I believe it was a Saturday. I was watching TV but the show had switched to commercials. To pass time I was most likely texting. And then instantly I almost got whiplash my head swung back in the TVs direction. The cause? The music to this ad:



The music grabbed my body, picked me up, threw me into a party...with the phone in hand. My hair...looked
great. My clothes...new and improved. The boys....staring. The sheer attitude of the music sold me. So whats the
only thing I asked for at Christmas...the Voyager.

The Good Ole Days



Tonight, I have decided...I want to worship many Gods...not just one. 

How incredible would it be to make a sacrifice (of a vegetable-the ancient Romans sacrificed both vegetables and animals...don't worry) to the Goddess of Grades for the A you got on your paper. Hey, maybe she would make it happen next time too if it was a particularly juicy tomato. 

How fulfilling would it be to pray to Venus about the boy that sits next to you in political science 3304. To worship at her temple for him to "please ask me on a date...not for a pencil again"

The God of War, known as Mars in classical times, to bring your beloved soldier home from the war. 

I may sound ignorant and sacrilegious(which I'm not I promise)...but maybe mankind would feel a little more satisfied with polytheism....and maybe God will listen a little more if he had some help...

If I ruled the world...

My Ten Commandments:
10) You shall not murder the good spirits of my afternoon with a middle finger at a 4-way stop
9) You shall give a honest compliment to thy neighbor once a day
8) You shall not try to become famous off of American Idol
7) You shall not steal from you waiter and not give him a honorable tip
6) You shall not covet they best friends significant other
5) You shall not go to the gym without deodorant and run next to me on the treadmill
4) You shall not discuss things loudly in the library even if the other party happens to be at the other end of your cellular telephone
3) You shall honor your mother and father 
2) You shall always have a shoulder for your friend to lean on
1) You shall covet yourself.

Monday, March 1, 2010

The Naked Truth


Where does the idea of privacy come from?
I would like to know the day that caused Adam and Eve to wear the leaf, the development of bathroom stalls, the invention of underwear...and I would like to erase it. 
Yes, I said it...I would like to reverse the idea that humans feel the need to buy $200 jeans, $18 thongs and $40 dollar bras. I would like to run through the mall...naked. (although malls might not exist without clothes). I want to literally...roll out of bed and go to class. I want to never worry about tan lines. I want to get beads every day. Basically...I've decided life would be a whole lot more adventurous, easy, cheap, free and simple...if we all were ok with just being baring our souls.

Sunday, February 28, 2010

the price is wrong



As a whole...humans are smart, right? We may make mistakes plenty of times...but overall, we have lots of common sense.
Why...the hell....do we keep paying for movie tickets, movie concessions, wine at restaurants, hotel movies, mini bars, room service...I mean, you name it...it's overpriced. 
Strikes go on all the time...but we just want to sit on our ass, get drunk and get our food delivered as close to our mouths as we can get. Now I am in no way saying I don't do any of these things because actually movies, getting tipsy at dinner with friends and hotel room service are right up there with my raindrops and roses. But as a human race...LET US STRIKE. 
Will this ever happen because there are so many of my indulgent clones out there? Probably not, but how can the entire society ignore the rip offs of American culture?  God help the USA.